Continued...

So, what would YOU do at that moment?  One friend of mine said if her husband cheated, she would cut off his offending parts right then and there.  I'm not quite that crazy.  Instead, after I verified some of the details, (yes, he said, she did give a blow job, but no, they did not have sex) and called him a few choice names, I grabbed my purse, ran out the door, and started driving.  I did not know where to go or who to call.  The thing about infidelity is that once you discover the secret, you feel very alone.  As hurt and angry as I was, the logical part of me told me it would be best not to call my closest friends and family members right then.  As much as I felt like my world had just been shattered and saw my future as a single parent flash before my eyes, I knew that if I confided in people who cared deeply for me I would not be able to make the choice myself:  that they would demand that I leave.  So I called my brother-in-law.  Soon I found myself wandering the local mall, shuffling through clothing racks while licking the salt off my lips as my tears continued to fall, all the while saying aloud to my brother-in-law what no woman ever wants to have say.  I could feel the curious stares of mall walkers, shoppers, and workers alike, but I did not care.  I was emotionally exhausted and felt like my mind was having a war with itself.  Should I stay?  Should I go?  Before long, I discovered that my best course of action was not to make a decision at all.  With my family and life as I knew it at stake, I realized it would be in everyone's best interest for me not to make any rash decisions.  So I called one trusted friend and asked her to meet me at my house.  I left the mall and arrived home to find my two darling children sound asleep in bed and my husband meekly hanging his head in the company of a friend.  I told him he could sleep in the basement until further notice.  And I continued living, one second, one step, one agonizing moment, at a time.  69 days later, I am still here, and I have still not made up my mind.  There have been more details to learn, more tears cried, counseling sessions.... but I'll post about all that later.  Until then...