Lonely on New Year's Eve

How am I spending my New Year's Eve? On my couch, in my pajamas, eating Chinese take-out, watching a movie, and drinking Strongbow. Alone.

It's not that I don't have plenty of great family and friends to hang out with - I do. But most of them are home with their own spouses and children, since we are not as young as we once were. Which makes me feel sad, and lonely, and... old.

Bill and I used to find something fun to do every New Year's Eve. A concert, a dance club, a comedy show, a nice dinner, a hotel... And even though I don't miss him, exactly, I definitely miss the idea of him. The companionship. Having someone to call at any time of the day for any reason. A reason to get all dolled up and go out on the town.

Sigh. Cheers to you all and to the New Year. I am going to go stuff my face with some more cream-cheese won-tons, and wash them down with another Strongbow.

Looking Forward to 2011...

It has to be a better year, doesn't it? I was hoping 2010 would be an improvement over 2009, and unfortunately it wasn't, so I think I deserve nothing but the best in the new year, don't you? My New Year's Resolution for this year was to step out of my comfort zone and try some new things, including downhill skiing, and I'm hoping to knock that one off of the list tomorrow! Other new things I tried this year included acting and singing onstage AND having my first ever true fling! Yes, you heard me right, I had a fling, and it was quite enjoyable while it lasted.

My friend and I went to a Zombie Pub Crawl in October (another step outside my comfort zone) and I met a great guy with a lot of my same interests. We had great conversation and in my drunken stupor I actually walked home with him. Did I sleep with him? Not that night. But we enjoyed six fun dates before he headed out on a six-week trip to Australia and New Zealand, and yes, a few of those dates involved me (once again) stepping out of my comfort zone. Now all I have to do is make it down the bunny hill before Saturday and I will have completely aced my New Year's Resolution test. Which means it will be time to think about a resolution for 2011.

So what do I aim to do in 2011? Rediscover myself, my friendships, and my passions (which means it's time for me to pick up a paint brush again, for the first time in five years). Focus on my children. Enjoy the little things. And if Mr. Right happens to come along, rip off the bandaid covering my heart and let love in. What is your New Year's Resolution?