Sunday, August 22, 2010

Closet Space

In an effort to try to look on the bright side of things, I have compiled a list of things I look forward to once my now ex-husband officially moves out this week, and at the top of the list is...

more closet space!  And an extra dresser!  I am so excited that I won't have to pound the clothes in my drawers in fits of frustration anymore,  in futile attempts to make "just one more" shirt of pair of shorts fit.  And that I will be able to see all of the clothes hanging in my closet, which will (hopefully) prevent me from thinking I've lost certain garments that in the past have gotten lost in the shuffle.  No more, "Oh my gosh, I forgot I even had this shirt!"

Other things on the list:
* Complete control over the remote
* No more picking dirty socks off the floor (oh, wait, I do still have two kids!)
* Pizza does not have to be our main meal anymore
* No more need to draw an imaginary line down the middle of the bed to mark "my side" when I'm trying to sleep
* No more energy spent on deciphering the truth from lies

I could go on and on... 

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Today is the Day!

1:30 PM - Court time! It should be quick and simple, a matter of holding up my right hand and answering a few yes or no questions. Amazing how quick and easy it actually is to unravel the last 13 years of my life (6 of my marriage), to pluck me out of my current reality and into a different story ending.

Bill came into my room the other night, crying and telling me how sad he is about moving out, how it kills him that he won't get to see the kids every night, and how much he cherishes all of the good memories we have together. So, I decided to throw him one last bone, and asked "Are you really sure you want me to go through with this on Thursday?" His response: "Well, what else?" I said "You know what else. All I'm saying is you have until 1:30 to speak now or forever hold your peace." He hugged me, and that was it. If he had begged me back at that moment would I really have avoided going to court today? Probably not. But giving him one more chance to beg makes me feel more at peace with my decision, knowing that I truly did what I could to make my marriage work for my children's sake.

Now it's time to gain back my dignity, and find a better life!