Friday, November 13, 2009

The Ultimate Betrayal

It has been almost two weeks now since my world once again came crashing down. Some may deny me any pity, seeing as how I didn't run like hell in February, but I am throwing myself the pity party I never wanted or deserved. How did I find out this time? A combination of listening to my intuition and using my private investigator skills (which are quite good, actually).

Last Monday night, Bill went out for a drink with his friend Nick. At about 10:30 PM, I tried to call him, but he did not answer. Right away I had that something's-not-right feeling. Bill always has his phone on vibrate, always in his pocket, and always answers. I managed to call him four or five more times in the next 10 minutes. I sent him a text asking him where he was. Then I sent a text to Nick asking him if he was with Bill.

Bill finally texted back: "Saw that you called. What's up?" I called again and he answered, claiming he and Nick were just leaving the sports bar. I told him to put Nick on the phone, and he said Nick had already driven away. Bill had originally stated he was meeting Nick because Nick wanted to talk about some family issues he was having. I asked Bill how the conversation was: Bill said Nick didn't really open up. I asked him what they did then, if they didn't really talk, and he said they watched the football game. I asked him who played and he said "Oh my gosh, I can't remember. I've had like 5 beers and I'm feeling a little drunk." Yeah, right.

At that point I hung up the phone and texted Nick, asking him where he and Bill had gone. I immediately called Bill back and told him to stay on the phone with me until he got home. I didn't want to provide him with the opportunity to give Nick a heads up. A few minutes later, Bill hung up the phone. When I called him back, he asked, "What happened? Did your phone cut off?" Nice try.

He stayed on the line until he entered the front door. I ran to the entry-way and grabbed his phone from him. Right on the screen (about to be deleted by him before I snatched the phone) was a text message from the other woman: "Looking good tonight hottie" with a response from him: "I want u so bad." "WTF?" I asked. The girl (we'll call her Shana) was someone I knew, the ex-girlfriend of one of Bill's friends. The couple had been in our home on more than one occasion. Bill explained that he had gone to the strip club where she apparently works (WTF?) to sell her a pair of sunglasses, and that the text messages were flirtatious and out-of-line but that nothing had happened. Obvious BS.

I yelled a few choice words to him, left the house (with his phone), and drove to my friend's house. We proceeded to log-in to his facebook account and watched in horror as he instant-messaged one of his friends saying things like, "Shit, we have to warn Shana. Can you get ahold of her at the club? My wife has my phone, we have to warn her!" etc. I waited until 3 AM and sent Shana a text from Bill's phone, saying, "Kim knows." She fell for it and we proceeded to have a lengthy text conversation in which she said things like "You told her? Now she knows I'm a stripper? Babe, what are we going to do? You can move in with me if she kicks you out! What's going to happen between us?" If I wanted to vomit last time, I wanted to hurl it to the moon this time.

I called Shana from my phone and told her to call me. She left me a message a few hours later. I then texted her to get some details, and found out it started two weeks prior to last Monday, that they had slept together once, that they did NOT use a condom (what is he thinking???), and that there was a lot of sexting in-between.

Needless to say, it is now over between my husband and I. For now, we are living as roommates, until we can figure things out. I need financial stability and help with the kids for now, but I plan on being divorced by summer. I don't think I'll ever trust again...


  1. Oh, I am SO sorry to hear this. I've been following your story since you posted about it on babycenter (I think thats where I saw this). I'm glad that he has made the choice of whether to stay or go so much easier for you, but I'm so sorry he has caused you so much pain. There will be a special place in hell for him (and people like him). I will be thinking/praying for you and your children as you make this huge transition. Gob bless!

  2. Thank you, I appreciate your kind thoughts and prayers.

  3. I agree about him making the decision easier for you and agree I am so sorry it has caused you and your children pain. I am praying for strenth and wisdom for you as a mother. He deserves nothing more from you and that includes your tears.