Happy Valentine's Day!

Exactly three years and one week have passed since the fateful day that turned my world upside down and left me cleaning up the mess of what I had once thought was love. If you had asked me then to predict where I would be at this exact moment, I would never have guessed that I would be sitting at home with a smile on my face, surrounded by the love of my children and a restored faith in true, romantic love.

Mr. Great Guy has continued to live up to his name. In fact, we are taking our first mini-vacation together this weekend: a trip to New York City, and I am so excited to see not only what is in store for us this weekend, but also what is in store for us as our journey together continues to unfold. And so it is with peace and love in my heart that I wish all of you a very happy Valentine's Day!

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell

Back to Life

Wow, I can't believe I have let almost this entire year pass without posting an update! So much has happened! First and foremost, an on-line dating update: I went on dates with five or six different men from e-harmony after my last post, and none of them were what I was looking for. The dates were okay - it was nice to get out and enjoy a nice meal and conversation with someone new - but not worth pursuing anything more than a date or two in the end. I never really put much faith into on-line dating, and I'm not sure I would ever do it again. Too much hassle, too many frogs, too much money...

Luckily, I met a great guy through a friend of mine, and we've been dating since July! Within a week or two of meeting him, I closed my e-harmony account - not because I was immediately convinced he was "the one" or anything, but because I realized the two of us were way more compatible than anyone I had met on-line. I decided early on that if things didn't work out with him, I would rather rely on set-ups through friends or family than the computerized version of the search for love.

Mr. Great Guy is also divorced, has two kids, and has an ex-wife who cheated on him. It has been so much fun getting to know him and so comforting to be able to talk to someone who understands me, because he has gone through the same kind of pain. Was his ex-wife the female version of Tiger Woods? No. But she married the man she cheated with, and they now have a baby together. As fate would have it, she and I both attended the same concert a few weeks ago. I haven't met her yet, but if I would have run into her that night, I would have thanked her for letting go of Mr. Great Guy, because her loss has been my gain.

So how is Tiger (oh, excuse me, I mean Bill), you ask? Still dating multiple women, probably at the same time, as far as I can tell from his facebook updates. My anger has turned into pity for him, because I know he will never find a true, honest, loving relationship, and that all the sex in the world will not fill up his soul.

As for me, I have moved on, and I am not looking back.

My Go-To Answer to the Big Question

I struggle every time someone new discovers I'm divorced and asks me, "What happened?" A part of me wants to just say, "It's really none of your business," but at the same time, I want people to understand that the failure of my marriage was NOT my fault. That's right, I continue to refuse to take any blame for its demise, and I don't want people secretly imagining up their own twisted stories or judging me. Therefore, I have created a go-to line which pretty much sums up what happened and leaves people shocked enough that they don't ask me any more embarrassing questions: "Why did I get divorced? Oh... well, my ex-husband was aspiring to be like Tiger Woods. And I'm not talking about his golf game." Need I say more, really?

E-Harmony Guy #2

I had my third date tonight with E-harmony Guy #2. We went to a nice little restaurant and ate at the bar. It was an evening filled with good conversation and good wine, and it ended with a sweet little peck on the lips. I'm looking forward to seeing what might come of this... not getting my hopes up for anything long-term (and not even sure I want that right now), but like I said in my last post, he has potential. It's nice to know my daggers won't come out every time I interact with a man, since my faith in them as a whole has been obliterated. Happy Friday night!

35 days into the New Year...

You'll be happy to hear I am no longer sitting on the couch in my pajamas. In fact, almost immediately after writing my last post, I joined e-harmony! No more feeling sorry for myself. Time to move on. Never in my lifetime did I think I would ever join an online dating website, but really, where am I supposed to meet a fine young gentleman as a single mom of two young children? At the grocery store? Sure, I can picture it now... our eyes meet, my heart flutters, and then my son pees his pants and my daughter throws a cookie. Yes, I make a great first impression! Ha ha!

Anyway, my e-harmony subscription has led to four dates so far (with two different men). Both are six years older than me, since the men my age apparently go for women under 30 (I'm 32). I gave the first guy a second date out of pity, and the idea that sometimes it takes time to build chemistry. Needless to say, that did not happen. The second guy has possible potential, so we'll see what happens...

What else have I done with my New Year? Well, I gave up pop and chocolate, which is an impressive feat since I've been addicted to chocolate pretty much since I was born. Also, like everyone else, I'm on a mission to lose 10 pounds, so this week I started the "Cinch" diet, which meant all I could eat for five days was a combination of raspberries, yogurt, eggs, almonds, and spinach. Yum (note sarcasm).

As far as my ex... not missing him at all.

Here's to 2011! Cheers!

Lonely on New Year's Eve

How am I spending my New Year's Eve? On my couch, in my pajamas, eating Chinese take-out, watching a movie, and drinking Strongbow. Alone.

It's not that I don't have plenty of great family and friends to hang out with - I do. But most of them are home with their own spouses and children, since we are not as young as we once were. Which makes me feel sad, and lonely, and... old.

Bill and I used to find something fun to do every New Year's Eve. A concert, a dance club, a comedy show, a nice dinner, a hotel... And even though I don't miss him, exactly, I definitely miss the idea of him. The companionship. Having someone to call at any time of the day for any reason. A reason to get all dolled up and go out on the town.

Sigh. Cheers to you all and to the New Year. I am going to go stuff my face with some more cream-cheese won-tons, and wash them down with another Strongbow.

Looking Forward to 2011...

It has to be a better year, doesn't it? I was hoping 2010 would be an improvement over 2009, and unfortunately it wasn't, so I think I deserve nothing but the best in the new year, don't you? My New Year's Resolution for this year was to step out of my comfort zone and try some new things, including downhill skiing, and I'm hoping to knock that one off of the list tomorrow! Other new things I tried this year included acting and singing onstage AND having my first ever true fling! Yes, you heard me right, I had a fling, and it was quite enjoyable while it lasted.

My friend and I went to a Zombie Pub Crawl in October (another step outside my comfort zone) and I met a great guy with a lot of my same interests. We had great conversation and in my drunken stupor I actually walked home with him. Did I sleep with him? Not that night. But we enjoyed six fun dates before he headed out on a six-week trip to Australia and New Zealand, and yes, a few of those dates involved me (once again) stepping out of my comfort zone. Now all I have to do is make it down the bunny hill before Saturday and I will have completely aced my New Year's Resolution test. Which means it will be time to think about a resolution for 2011.

So what do I aim to do in 2011? Rediscover myself, my friendships, and my passions (which means it's time for me to pick up a paint brush again, for the first time in five years). Focus on my children. Enjoy the little things. And if Mr. Right happens to come along, rip off the bandaid covering my heart and let love in. What is your New Year's Resolution?